Bea Bincze

Cameron: [00:00:00] Flow. Unleashed, unleashed. Unleashed. Have you ever struggled to be funny or Hughes humor when on reflection you think it could have helped? In this episode, we unpack why laughter is so important to performance and wellbeing and how we can train. Human muscles.
Welcome to Flow Unleashed. I'm Dr. Cameron Norsworthy, scientist and high performance coach to multiple world champions. In this show, we unpack key insights on specific topics so that you are kept up to date with the latest science and practice of human performance.[00:01:00]
Welcome to today's episode. Where we are going to explore an underappreciated aspect of improving our performance and wellbeing. Humor, laughter, and humor go far beyond making life more enjoyable. They enhance our ability to cope with stress, boost cognitive function, and even optimize our physical performance.
The evidence is compelling from lowering cortisol levels to spark and creativity and resilience during life's most toughest moments. In sport and performance settings, coaches often use humor to alleviate tension before major competitions. Using humor to lighten the mood, athletes can feel less anxious, focus better, and maintain higher levels of confidence in workplaces.
Teams with a culture of humor, report greater cohesion, improve communication, and increased productivity. In educational environments, integrating humor into [00:02:00] teaching is shown to enhance information retention and engagement making, learning more effective and enjoyable. But how do we harness this incredible tool?
Effectively today, we're joined by an expert in the field Bea Bincze. Bea is on a mission to help people discover and refine their sense of humor. Turning it into a powerful resource for personal and professional growth. As a lifelong member of the Association of Applied and Therapeutic Humor, Bea specializes in translating evidence-based insights about humor into actionable strategies.
Bea has helped countless presenters prepare for TED Talks and international conferences to ensure that their messages not only inform, but inspire with a touch of humor. So if you are ever wondering how to cultivate your human muscles, you're in the right place. Flow Unleashed, [00:03:00] unleashed, unleashed.
Welcome to the show, bear.
Bea: Good morning, come on. Thank you for having me in the show.
Cameron: My pleasure. My pleasure. For what reason did you start working with humor? How did it enter your life in terms of a professional focus?
Bea: I, I was always envious of people who had a great sense of humor, and at the time I saw that I have to be funny.
I have to tell jokes to be funny, and it did not really work. I, I am not the kind of joke telling person. I was always cheerful. I always laugh to laugh together with friends, but that's it. And when my son was rough and the teenage problem started. I mean, if you ever had a, a teenager in your life, you know that they start, they love arguing.
And we kept arguing a lot and I did not like it. [00:04:00] And after a while I realized that my son was a perfect boy because a teenage boy's major job is to drive his mother crazy. And he did that perfectly and. Later on when we were starting a fight, I reminded myself that bear, remember he's perfect. And then I could have a laugh and tell him, you know what?
Why don't we continue it later instead of getting into the fight? And I just figured that when I use humor, our relationship improved. And this is where I decided to start using humor consciously. But at the time I had no idea that humor can be taught. But I really learned when I went to the US the first humor conference was in Orlando, Florida, right after Covid.
And there I was told that you don't have to [00:05:00] be funny, just see the fun around you and share with others. And this I can do. I am working as a coach, as a trainer. I love being observant and noticing things and noticing the funny things and sharing with others and laughing together is something that I can definitely do and I can also teach people to start doing that.
So learning that humor is actually a skill that can be developed is fantastic.
Cameron: It's amazing how we all understand intuitively. Humor and laughter is fantastic, but often in a professional setting, it isn't top of the priority list. Like when I write my keynotes, it's about putting that the information front and center, and the more I've gotten into present presenting and I've realized that it's the relationship, the audience that matters most, and then the content comes later.
And if we can have [00:06:00] that connection, if we can have that humor. They're far more receptive to the information I'm going to give them. And similar in a coaching session, often they can be very serious and intense, which is great. And as coaches, I guess we forget about having the laughter to mix it up and have that ying and yang and the complete experience.
How have you found humor being very useful in a coaching setting?
Bea: I believe in coaching humor can be useful in many ways. It can be useful as a tool that we can use as coaches, but also it can be a topic. So if there is a presentation coaching and someone prepares a keynote speech, spicing it up with humor can definitely help.
Also, I already had client who reached out telling that his partner, uh, told [00:07:00] that probably their marriage could be saved if they could laugh more. And then we worked on really, how can you really train your humor muscles? And develop the humor habits. What I find that if there's a stressful situation and there is a laugh, we can release the tension a bit.
It's much easier to continue. It is much easier to share things that are difficult to say. Building relationship, building trust, humor is a great way, I mean. Think about your ego. Ego is generally clashing with humor. If you take yourself too seriously, it's very difficult to laugh because you fear that you have to behave in a certain way.
And I used to feel that as a leader, I have to be serious so that people would take me seriously. Today, I believe that I take my business [00:08:00] seriously, but not myself. If I can be more relaxed, I can be more natural. It's just so much easier. And I believe that sometimes we are just too serious.
Cameron: Hmm. Too serious.
Too scared. Too stressed. I'm sure we can all relate to that. And I've been one of those people who's had that self-limiting belief of I, I'm not funny. I'm not very good at telling jokes. I'm not very good at making people laugh and. How have you helped people to get over that?
Bea: I believe that once we are conscious of something, we can change that.
So the first thing is always to notice what are your beliefs about laughter? I mean, I have many friends who told me, well, I would never marry. Someone who cannot make me laugh. And I already mentioned I believe [00:09:00] that humor is a skill that can be developed because I know that I laugh much more now that I work with humor than I used to laugh before.
Also, small kids keep laughing all day long. Have you ever noticed that if you have ever been a child, you could do the same? So don't tell me that you cannot laugh. No, I mean, if someone has never been a child, I, I accept that. But for everyone else, I'm convinced that you have a sense of humor. It just, when you don't exercise your muscles, physical muscles, they become weaker.
And if you did not exercise your humor muscles, they became weaker as well. But if you start exercising and start noticing the funny things, it's always helpful. And once you start noticing things, you notice more and more. And clearly [00:10:00] with finding the right company, it is also helpful. Humor is a team sport.
People I love 30 times more when they are in company, and that's why being with friends, you can just laugh so easily.
Cameron: Yeah, so how do we train our humor muscles?
Bea: One important thing, I believe, is to start noticing. First of all, I ask people to think about, so what do, what are you laughing at? Do you have videos?
Do you have books? Do you have friends? Do you like the memes or you prefer to listen to some comedy? Stand up comedy or something. Find what you are, you can laugh at and try to make it part of your day. I have friends who are putting on the calendar, like 15 minutes, laughing. It is the same when you are starting to build new habit.[00:11:00]
The other thing, and this is what I often do on coaching, is really identify what is really frustrating, annoying, what is the thing that you don't like, and let's look at it in a funny way and reframe it. One thing that is a weakness of me, I'm geographically challenged. This means that when I go to a new place, I always get lost, and this was very frustrating until I figured out that I am not getting lost anymore.
I'm just discovering beautiful new places. Anytime when you can identify something that is frustrating and taking a twist and interpreting a different way and add fun to it, it makes your life easier. Woo.
Cameron: Yeah, it's a great skill. When I'm watching comedians, I often see them when frustration or tension or an interruption comes, [00:12:00] they'll immediately change it around to be humorous.
So they almost use that difficulty and complexity to their advantage,
Bea: and I believe this is a skill that we all can practice. I did have a friend who had difficulty saying, no, join me for a coaching and. At the end of the coaching design, the small smiley with the timeout sign and writing, oops, on it, and put this on his calendar.
And now when someone is going, they're asking him, he's looking at this little sticker and tells them that, oops, could I have some time out? Let me think it through. And then I come back instead of saying yes right away. And guess what he's saying? No, ma. Much more often now. So I believe that if there's a habit that we used to do every time in a certain way, [00:13:00] changing it is easier if you add some humor.
And also it's easier if you have some reminder.
Cameron: Do you want to help others unleash their performance? Do you want an internationally recognized accreditation to stand out amongst the crowd, or do you want the playbook I use every day when helping professionals to be their best and find their flow when it matters most? If this sounds interesting.
Join others who are training to become a high performance coach. We are on a mission to train a fellowship of expert practitioners and coaches to work with us and help make the world a better place. To find out more, go to flow coaching federation org and check out the Flow Coach Accreditation today.
Yeah. In a coaching setting, we might [00:14:00] identify a particular unhelpful script, an unhelpful pattern of thinking or behaving, and then we associate that with a particular animal or a particular cartoon character. Often it's like the Tasmanian Devil or um, the Grinch or something that resonates with them, but something so comical and cartoony and childish that.
Every time they become aware of that behavior, they insert that image and then they can't help but laugh. And in that laughter they have perspective. The attachment to it is less significant, that we have more empower to be able to then make a change and step into the the thinking and behavior that we want.
Bea: Absolutely. And also when we are playing some role, like there's a difficult situation and you. Make a role play with the client to try out from different perspective, different scenarios. Once you start exaggerating, it [00:15:00] becomes funny very quickly. And then they see that, oh, really, this is what I'm doing, or this is what it might mean.
And that is just so it's funny and also very useful. So I believe that there are many ways that we can, uh, use during the coaching sessions to help our clients and also not only at the coaching sessions, but it helps us in our day-to-day life as well. Last December, my, my mother got sick. Very, very sick After an operation and uh, she's got dementia, the situation generally is not getting much better.
This is a very difficult situation and if you cannot use humor to get over some difficulties, then you might actually cry. I remember when my sister came over, I'm the caretaker of my mother. And I [00:16:00] was still on a webinar when my sister came over and after I finished, she came and told me that Mom told me how nice the caretakers are here.
We started to laugh because it's funny, isn't it? Because I'm the caretaker, but at that time she did not recognize me. I'm very happy because she's getting better now. She's reading again. She's making crossword, so she is. She's not like she was before, but she's much better than at that time. But I know that humor helped us a lot, and I have many friends who came out of illness using humor and.
Anytime when you are in a difficult situation, being able to find the fun in it and not getting upset all the time is just important because we need to refill our batteries. And sugar can really give you energy that helps you to get over the day and even enjoy it [00:17:00] and notice the little good things and opportunities.
Cameron: The evidence supporting the use of laughter and humor in daily life, work and performance is compelling. Research highlights their profound psychological and physical benefits, making humor an invaluable tool Psychologically. Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress. It helps to reframe challenging situations by reducing stress perceptions and promoting a relaxed mental state.
Studies reveal that humor can lower cortisol levels, enabling individuals to handle pressure more effectively and make better decisions. Humor also boosts cognitive function by triggering positive emotions that enhance dopamine levels in the brain. I. Its neurotransmitter dopamine plays a crucial role in improving memory, learning and creativity, and by fostering mental flexibility, humor equips individuals to [00:18:00] think outside the box and develop novel solutions.
Resilience and motivation are also significantly improved by humor. For instance, research on elite athletes indicates that those who use humor as a coping mechanism maintain engagement and stay motivated even during setbacks or failures. Additionally, humor stimulates intrinsic motivation with workplace studies showing increased productivity and engagement with tasks approach in a lighthearted humor atmosphere.
Physiologically laughter strengthens the body in remarkable ways. It boost cardiovascular and respiratory health. It enhances heart rate variability, which is a key measure of adaptability and resilience. And laughter also promotes deep breathing, increasing oxygen delivery to our muscles and the brain, allowing us to have better focus and endurance.
The release of endorphins, the body's natural [00:19:00] mood enhancer. Painkiller is another benefit of laughter. Its natural high. Not only improves wellbeing, but reduces pain perception and aiding both physical recovery and performance under strenuous conditions. Research also suggests that laughter induces brainwave patterns similar to those observed during meditation, helping us to get better mental clarity.
It also bolster the immune system by increasing the production of natural killer cells and immunoglobins enhancing the body's ability to resist illness during periods of prolonged stress. And lastly, laughter has tangible effects on muscle relaxation. Single good laugh can relax muscles for up to 45 minutes.
Alleviating physical tension and reducing stiffness, which is particularly valuable in high pressure or physically demanding environments. Alright, let's dive back into the pot. [00:20:00] Earlier you commented on relationships in the power of humor, and often I find. Relationships at the beginning has a lot of humor and a lot of laughter, and a lot of love and a lot of serotonin and, and then as time goes on, and especially if kids get involved and the seriousness of work comes, the relationship takes a back step and suddenly.
There's less laughter in the time that's spent together. And often when kids are brought into the equation, there's less time full stop spent together. Um, and there can be all these passive aggressive scenarios and frustrations that have been loaded from for years or months. Then people are forced into a situation where you, you need to enjoy each other's company.
Maybe you've got a babysitter and you've only got one night out and you can spend the evening. Talking about all the frustrations, but often in those scenarios, laughter isn't always [00:21:00] prioritized in our relationship. And when it can be, as you're saying, it not only feels so much better, but it sets the tone for maybe having a, a complex situation afterwards and helping everyone to connect.
It puts us in that kind of playful space that allows us to have an open mind. Be curious.
Bea: I had a client who was telling me, asking me to help him to become more funny, and I said that this is not what you want actually, because you don't want to entertain the person. What you really want is to laugh together, so why don't you fight the situations?
When you were laughing together, they used to go to parties. They used to dress up. They used to meet friends who had a similar sense of humor and laugh together a lot, recreate these situations and fight. A final chance to laugh together and in [00:22:00] relationship. It's really the big secret is laughing with the other one, not entertaining it.
It's good if you can say something that they can laugh at. Mm-hmm. But then if you continue laughing together, I believe that in relationship, the biggest risk is if you are both very stressed.
Cameron: If you are.
Bea: Stressed. If you are upset, then you are less open to laugh. What I like is that you can use humor by chance, or you can use humor consciously, and you might or might not want to put it on your calendar, but if you are conscious and your partner is conscious, like.
We want to spend some time together just paying attention to each other and laugh together, then it's gonna happen because there's always some reason [00:23:00] to laugh.
Cameron: Yeah. It reminds me of a, I use this. It's amazing tool. I'm gonna build it up here now, where when we're really stressed and we're really tight and the performer is going into a situation and their nerves are overwhelming and they just need a reset, they just need to start again.
We do the chicken dance. And, and now I've got clients who, they'll go to the toilet and they'll shut the door and then they'll stand up and they'll start plucking their arms and then they'll start going B and, and it's almost impossible to act like a chicken and not laugh, right? And not have that complete, like just by doing it now, I've got like endorphins rushing through me and I feel lighter, and there's always.
Even in the most stressful of scenarios, there's always [00:24:00] a, an option and a possibility to, to allow that parasympathetic nervous system to come back in line with a little bit of humor and laughter.
Bea: Absolutely. Has it ever happened to you that once you got a different kind of car or something, then you started to notice things?
Cameron: Yeah.
Bea: It is so interesting because before I got pregnant on the streets of Budapest, there were no pregnant women. Once I got pregnant, everyone was pregnant.
Cameron: Everyone's pregnant. Yeah. Yeah.
Bea: I don't know what happened on that specific night, but then everyone was pregnant and after my son started to grow up, I started to notice kids.
So it's really where you, where we put our focus. And I believe that just shifting a bit, your focus and starting to notice funny things can make a huge difference. And I believe everyone can do [00:25:00] that. And I believe we can teach it as we can help our clients as a coach to notice those things as well.
Cameron: Well bear, thank you very much. We normally ask people a couple of questions. One, a book or a film that's had a huge impact in your life.
Bea: One of my favorite film is The Untouchable that a French film, film, film, the ProGo of them started as a a jobless person. And the other Pentagon is this, uh, handicapped millionaire, and he hired, uh, the guy to take care of him.
And he was the first one who took him as a person, not as a sick person. And they were laughing a lot and both of life changed and they became friend at the [00:26:00] end. And it is funny and touching, and I think everyone should watch it.
Cameron: Yeah. It's a magnificent film, isn't it? It's, it's, it's impossible not to be touched.
It was, uh, so funny. He's, the dynamic between the two of them is just brilliant. Time to flip the mic. Alright. And lastly, a question from myself to flick the mic and put me in the hot seat.
Bea: Well, you, Jo, you were at our workshop in Brook at the Humor Workshop, and I'm wondering. What have you started to use or what was your main takeaway?
Cameron: I mean, the main takeaway was what we've talked about today, really just shifting attention towards humor. I think in that workshop we created a humor box. I think you might have called it. I remember you called it You First.
Bea: Yes.
Cameron: Okay. You May 1st take it. [00:27:00] And whilst I haven't used that. Box. I've used that concept and even if I haven't used it directly, just knowing it's there and seeing it is for those that dunno I'm talking about is literally having a tissue box and you put in there things that make you laugh or associated with laughter or things you might wanna bring out with a client or just avenues has a connotation and association with humor.
It backs as like an anchor, as a, as a cue. And every time I. Look at it, I just, I can feel my whole system just, just shift a little bit. So I think that's been really nice and I think doubling up on that permission as well, of it's not about me being funny, you know, it's not about me being Mr. Humer, it's about I.
F just finding funny things and humor in the little things around us, you know, humor to sort of come outta the woodwork of, of the context, I think was a really, really, really powerful [00:28:00] message as well. Especially within keynote speaking. I. And things like that. Not necessarily working hard to build in jokes, but actually to use the context of what's happening in the moment with the audience or I spill my drink or whatever it is.
But using, using those moment to moment scenarios to invite humor into that conversation.
Bea: And even if something works differently than you plant, like spilling water, if you can make fun of it. It is actually strengthening you as a speaker instead of like, oh no, what should I do now? And then you become uncomfortable and the audience becomes uncomfortable as well.
So we can enjoy even those little moments and it's helping so much.
Cameron: Well, BIA, thank you very much for your time. Been a pleasure chatting with you.
Bea: Thank you.
Cameron: Flow. Unleashed, unleashed, unleashed, unleashed. [00:29:00] This chat with beer reminded me that humor is a skill that we can develop, not something that we need to put pressure on ourselves to be funny, but rather a way of seeing the world around us and inviting it into our conversations.
As leaders, coaches, or parents, or someone working with other people, it is worth proactively building humor, habits, humor and laughter can go a long way to increasing performance and wellbeing in both ourselves and others. If you want to find out more about Bee. Please see the show notes.
Thank you for listening to Flow Unleashed. If you enjoyed listening, please subscribe to get notified when our next episode drops. The more people that subscribe, the [00:30:00] better I can make the show for you. Equally, please leave a review. Your review will go a long way to helping others find this pot until the next time.
Thank you for listening to Flow Unleashed.
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